she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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