mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize