You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
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