I hate your face
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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