um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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