so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
