sarcasm needs its own font
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize