Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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