Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I touched a dick in church today
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
