also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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