Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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