I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
