i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
is this the sara with the beer cane?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
