sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
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