she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
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