I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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