I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
