Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
