remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize