apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
