I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
