Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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