Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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