pedialite and red bull = repair kit
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
