I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Boobs are out for the taking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize