they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
