At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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