i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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