I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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