she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
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sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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