I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Randomize
