I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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