She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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