We're facebook friends in real life
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize