I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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