Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Randomize
