Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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