next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Sext me about skeletons
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
