does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
