I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Randomize
