You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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