I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Randomize
