go do what you do best...puke behind churches
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I intend to get homeless drunk
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Randomize
