i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
