The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize