walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
