I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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