"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize
