i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
