Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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