FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
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i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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