the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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