I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
My life is pants optional.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
