drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize
