i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
