i would punch a child for taco bell
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
